I was digging through the archives and came across this review I did for Torontoindie back in December 2005. I always liked this review because as much as I wanted the show to be good, it just bombed for numerous reasons (as you'll see when you read the review).
I consider it one of my favourite reviews and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.
- Michael
So You Wanna Be a Wank(st)er
By Michael Yee
Despite some political opposition to Fiddy touring Canada, the G-Unit leader's Massacre tour rolled through the T-dot last night to bring some much needed thuggery and entertainment to an otherwise bleak winter.
An expected large police presence inside and outside the venue (as well as the frigid temperature) seemed to deter any violence and a repeat of the shooting that occurred in the parking lot after Fiddy's last show here in 2003.
The barrier in front of the stage wasn't solidified enough and had to be re-enforced with duct-tape and cardboard (no kidding); thus causing a delay in opening the doors to the public. However, once the doors were open, thugs, bitches/hos and wiggers alike rushed the floors and filled the (surprisingly) mid-sized venue quickly.
Reggae upstart Rihanna sauntered onstage about a half hour later to general indifference. She tried to sing her way through her first song and had to resort to lip-synching her second song. The sound mix was quite terrible (it's doubtful that there was much of a soundcheck) and it was obvious when she was singing for real and when she wasn't. After brief covers of Kanye West and Sean Paul to try and get the crowd interested, she gamely performed her hit single "Pon De Replay" (half lip-synching it) and got the fuck offstage. That's right, 3 songs and roughly 15 minutes onstage. At least she kept it mercifully short, just like her career will be.
After a quick 10-minute break, Toronto native Kardinal Offishall was up next and fared slightly better. His hip-hop style seemed to relate to the audience more and his constant references to the "T-dot" ensured quick pops from the crowd. Although his political message of "fuck the politicians" seemed a little cliche and uninformed, he gets props for mentioning Toronto suburbs like Pickering, Ajax, Woodbridge and Vaughn onstage (probably the only time you'll ever hear those words at a concert). He did a quick 25-minute set, including crowd favourite "Bakardi Slang" and did a somewhat admirable job. However, it was obvious as to who everyone one there was to see by scanning the swaths of empty seats in the stands that didn't fill up until the lights dimmed and Fiddy's shameless self-promoting entrance video aired.
Backed by a pathetically depleted G-Unit consisting of only Lloyd Banks and himself (the other members were apparently denied permission to enter Canada due to various felonies), 50 Cent charged through an hour-long set of his hits from and selected cuts from this year's Massacre album and 2003's Get Rich Or Die Tryin' (and the movie soundtrack of the same name, also from this year). Newer tracks like "Piggy Bank" and "Window Shopper" got equally favourable reactions to older cuts like "In Da Club" or " P.I.M.P". It should also be noted that only a portion of each song (usually a couple verses and choruses) were performed before moving onto the next track in rapid-fire succession (usually accompanied by gun-shot sound effects). Not one complete song was performed; and after paying $70 to see this show, one would expect to hear at least complete tracks, but the crowd didn't seem to mind. Nor did they seem to mind the large amount of water Fiddy doused them with from the seemingly endless amount of water bottles he had onstage.
The stage banter was kept brief, but some memorable moments included Fiddy stopping "Wanksta" to pick up a wig that had been tossed onstage and incredulously addressing the crowd: "Which one of you bitches lost your hair?" He then calmly added it to the small collection of bra and panties that had been tossed onstage earlier. He also took time out to diss his nemesis The Game, claiming he wrote The Game's album, and taking a shot at Lil' Kim while he was at it for good measure.
There's no question that 50 Cent has transformed himself into a walking, talking, multimedia billboard. With movies, albums, a clothing line, video games and a book to promote, it's surprising that he has time to do shows at all. However, in an hour, he proved that he could perform with the best of them and put on an all around entertaining show.
Was it worth $70? Probably not. But did you go away happy? Hells yeah.
